Friday, August 6, 2010

How Social Conditioning DESTROYS Sex & How To Rock Her WORLD



First, let me start off by saying that I am not responsible for this incredibly awesome material.  However, it's so great, and so well put together, I had to share it with you.  The initial author is "Caligula" and I give him all the credit.  Email me at RealNaturalMen@gmail.com if you'd like to see some more of his stuff.

So, here's his nuggets of gold on how sex in modern society has been totally destroyed by the way of the brutally misaligned, and feminine man...

"This knowledge changed my life. If you know how to fuck a woman well, you can provide her something that the majority of guys cannot: total, uninhibited, and ever increasing submission to pleasure.

The rewards are fantastic.

You have probably read the statistics that a large majority of women have never had a vaginal orgasm. You have probably also read that an even larger percent are unsatisfied with their sex lives (I read somewhere over 90%).

Knowing how to fuck will give you an enormous rate of return.

Perhaps the only thing that will give you a larger rate of return in terms of quality of life is taking care of your health.

I am only going to talk here about the things that I have learned AND successfully applied. Things that I am learning right now like Tantric sex, the male multiple orgasm and training her to cum while blowing you will not be covered here because I do not have a firm grasp on them yet.

This is more or less a bastardized version of The Sex God Method by Daniel Rose. For a fuller understanding of these concepts, I suggest you read that book.

Onwards.

Why Guys Suck In Bed

When a lot of guys try to improve their performance on bed, they immediately look for more positions, better ways to stimulate the G-Spot or proper clit-licking form.

In other words, they are focused on physical technique.

This stems from the mindset that sex is a form of physical pleasure.

The result is mutual masturbation with their partner(s), and usually pretty shitty masturbation for her, since she can usually pleasure herself better than you can if all you two are doing is rubbing genitals.

Women do not want to be pleasured by a gynecologist, they want to be fucked into submission by a man.

And the way you fuck a girl into submission is psychological, not physical.

This leads us to the golden rule of fucking: focus on stimulating her mind, not her body.

Write that on a sticky note and post it on the macaroni and cheese box where you hide your condoms.

Obviously, you need to know a few positions and some oral sex technique, but you merely need to strive for competance in that realm, not mastery.

In Daniel Rose's book The Sex God Method, Dan talks about the four pillars of amazing sex.

1. Dominance
2. Emotion
3. Variety
4. Immersion

DEVI.

Notice how all of those are psychological, not physical. One of the pillars is not “hit the g-spot at a 30 degree angle in the Zimbabwean orangutan position.”

That said, here is a very brief rundown of some basics of physical technique you should know.

1. Positons: Man on top (missionary), woman on top, doggy style, spooning, g-spot position (Her legs over your shoulders). These are your bread and butter, but feel free to use others. In fact, you should be putting thye two of you into new positions anyway.
2. Oral Sex: Tease her pussy first by breathing on it, kissing it or licking it softly, then thrust your tongue into her pussy (push the girl's legs above your head), do this for a little bit and then lick her clit. Calibrate the pressure to the girl, use plenty of saliva, lick the alphabet and ease off when she cums.
3. Fingering: Stimulate pussy over her panties, focus stimulation on opening of vagina, when you feel dampness through panties, take off the panties and stick in your finger(s). You can then moisten your finger and rub her clit and give her a clitoral orgasm with it or bend your finger(s) in a “come here” motion against her g-spot and give her a vaginal orgasm.

Oral sex should not be the mainstay of your sexual repoirtore, so don’t worry too much about it. While it is easiest to get a girl off by licking her clit, the orgasm she will experience from that is very lame compared to vaginal ones.

Focus on giving her vaginal orgasms. You do that by sticking your dick in there and giving her a ton of psychological stimulation. The things you do to her physical should merely compliment the psychological stimulation.

Dominance

“The difference between raping and ravishing is heart connection.”
- Amber Lupton

The feminine loves to be dominated. That is why women are so attracted to men who dominate their own lives (ie having a purpose and living by it) and dominate others (Leading, giving good emotions, having high status).

When you are having sex, all social bullshit goes out the window. It is a naked caveman penetrating a naked cavewoman.

You mindset should be “I am going to ravish her,” not “I will have sex with her.” That’s not what you want, and that is definitely not what she wants.

So how do you do this?

Dirty Talk

A lot of guys limit their bedroom skills by not talking during sex. This is rubbish. You NEED to be talking to her if you want to give her multiple orgasms.

Obviously, this should not be logical AT ALL.

Good: “You’re my little slut, you’re so fucking wet. You’ve been thinking about my long, hard cock inside you all day, haven’t you?”

Good: “You love nothing more than getting fucked by my long, hard cock. Ya, take it all in my little whore.”

Good: “Say my name. Beg me to cum in my little pussy.”

Good: “You pretend you don’t like getting fucked all day, but I know you live for nothing else.”

Good: “Just thinking about your tight little pussy makes me hard.”

Good: “You’re my bitch. I am going to fuck you wherever and whenever I want.”

Take ownership of her and her body when having sex. Instead of calling her a slut, call her “my slut.” Say “my pussy,” “my tits,” and “my ass.”

Dirty talk is VERY dominant and triggers a lot of wonderful things in the girl.

IMPORTANT: Do not exclusively talk to dirty to her. It will hurt her immersion if she is worrying that you do not respect her. Initially limiting dirty talk to when she is highly aroused (ie when you are in foreplay or having sex with her) will prevent this from happening. Also, using emotional talk in conjunction with dirty talk will do the trick.

Manhandling and/or bondage

Toss her around. Pin her against the bed or slam her against the door (better than the wall). Pull her hair. Spank her hard. Rip off her clothes.

Just do what a dominant alpha male would do to his woman.

Additionally, it is awesome to LIGHTLY tie a woman down. Use her clothes to tie her against the bedposts, but make it somewhat comfortable for her. If she is in an overly uncomfortable position, her immersion will be hurt.

Doing so is very dominant, especially when you tease the hell out of her before penetrating her.

Another easy way is to put her in a very dominant sexual position. Fucking her doggy style, for example, is a great one to use because you are this towering man pounding the shit out of her while she is on her hands and knees taking it all in.

Commands

This is huge.

NEVER, EVER ask a woman to do anything in bed.

Bad/Horrible/Faggotry: Can I have sex with you doggy style?

Good: Get on your hands and knees so I can fuck you from behind.

Bad/Horrible/Faggotry: Would you like to give me a blowjob?

Good: [stick penis next to her lips] Kiss it. Now suck it.

Bad/Horrible/Faggotry: I want to go all the way!

Good: Take off your pants.

Obviously, there is an ethical line here. I would not suggest doing anal or deepthroating a girl without consent. I’ll talk about those two a little later.

Emotion

The single best way to get what it means to embody the elements of an emotional lover is to read romance novels.

There is a part of every woman who wants to be dominated, but there is also a part that wants to experience a wide range of emotions. A lot of women who have boyfriends that get the whole dominance thing also have lovers on the side who provide her with that wide range of emotions.

You want to embody both.

Obviously, if you create a lot of attraction outside of the bedroom, she is going to feel very strongly about you. This will carry into the bedroom, where you can dramatically amplify it.

In that sense, good game can lead to good sex.

To spike emotions as the relationship moves along, you need to get her to invest more and more into you.

Make her work for the privilege of having sex with you. After giving her some amazing sexual experiences, start by making her carry the load in conversations and make room in her schedule to see you. As you convert her, get her doing favors for you like cooking, laundry and take you on dates. Because a master lover like you is so rare, she will gladly do so (I didn’t believe it until I tried it).

Even in the bedroom, make her work for the sex. Make her do the work sometimes in seducing you, and have her go down on you as much as you go down on her.

Most importantly, CONSTANTLY PUSH HER OUT OF HER SEXUAL COMFORT ZONE. More on this later.

Doing these things will give you a strong emotional foundation to amplify during sex.

Emotional Talk

Again, it is essential that you talk when having sex. When inserting emotional talk, focus on three themes: possession, how strongly you feel about her, and how strongly she feels about you.

Good: Baby, I love it when I’m inside you.

Good: This pussy is mine, and only mine. No other man can ever touch you.

Good: Baby, I love fucking you so deeply. I can feel your soul.

Good: Tell me how much you love me

Note: Get her to say she loves you before saying so yourself. After she does so, it is very effective to tell her that you love her too and tell her this constantly while having sex with her. Obviously, it helps if you actually do love her.

Combining dirty talk with emotional talk is when the magic really happens. Don’t worry if it makes logical sense or that the transitions are smooth. Just try to incorporate a lot of both into most of your sessions.

Telling her “I love you” while treating her like a whore or telling her how you would never hurt her while your hands are around her neck are examples of this in action.

Teasing

This is huge.

There is nothing more emotionally powerful than bringing a woman to the edge of what she wants and then not giving it to her. Once she has reached the edge of how much she can take, give her sudden, instant gratification.

For example, I like to tie my girlfriend up to her bodposts with various items of clothing. I will then spend 30 minutes or so teasing the hell out of her. I will pinch, nibble and lick virtually every part of her body. I will whisper very naughty things into her ear. I will then lick her pussy a few times and tell her “suck my cock for 2 minutes and you get three licks.” After this has gone on to the point where she is just losing it, I’ll suddenly slam my cock into her and watch as she cums right away.

Another idea is to thrust shallow and make her beg for you to thrust deeply. Another is to just tickle the edge of her pussy with your cock and tell her that you don’t think she can take it all in. It is a lot of fun to pull out of her suddenly, tell her you don’t think she can take it, let her freak out and then plunge your cock back in.

It is not uncommon for her to cum on the first stroke when you do this.

Have fun, and be creative with this. In essence, you are applying the “two steps forward, one step back” formula to sex.

Obviously, make sure she is aroused before teasing her. Otherwise, she will think you simply aren’t in the mood. If she is getting less aroused or clearly aggravated, then you should stop the teasing because it aint helping you.

And remember, the more sparse you tease, the more powerful it becomes when you do it.

Other Ideas

If you can bring in a“this is bad, we shouldn’t be doing this” and “we might get caught” context to the sex, her emotional response will be powerful. VERY powerful.

Try fucking her in public bathrooms, in the middle of the woods, in a changing room or in the computer lab (Funny story with that one).

Another way to spike her emotions is to make her look into your eyes when she cums or when you cum. Because of the pleasure she is feeling, this can be difficult for her. Hold her face with your hands if you need to (dominance).

WARNING: She will usually fall in love with you when you do this.

NOTE: The best time to say “I love you” for the first time is when she is about to cum. Every time I have done this, the girl goes into a continuous orgasmic state.

After Sex

After sex is where the emotional connection is solidified.

Women will usually talk emotional after sex. You should to, although try not to go higher than the level she is talking to you in. If you have already crossed the “I love you” threshold, this is a good time to remind her of that.

Recently, I’ve come to enjoy saying these cheesy, romantic poems to my girlfriend after sex.


Obviously, you need to evaluate where you are in the relationship.

Variety

This is all about pushing out of both of your comfort zones.

There is no easier way to kill your sex life than to do the same stuff every time you fuck.

Some guys are super dominant every time they have sex. For the first few times, she really digs this. Over time, however, she is going to crave someone who can take her through a wide range of emotions or give her a really immersive experience.

What you want to do is embody the traits of a dominant caveman type-lover, an emotional romance novel-type lover and and tantric spiritual-lover. If you can embody all three, she will have no urges to seek out any other partner.

Of course, this assumes you can competantly be all three.

This is actually pretty easy to do. Simply throw in elements of all three into each session, and change up the balance.

One night drag her into the bathroom, bend her over and give her a quickie. Later that night have a long, slow session where you are looking into each other’s eyes and professing how much you love one another. The next morning, as you are waking up, penetrate her and have a highly immersive, half-asleep fuck.

You get the idea.

Change it up during the session itself. At the beginning fuck her dominantly against the door, then suddenly pick her up, gently set her on the bed and slowly make love to her.

One time be 30% Dominance, 40% emotion and 30% immersion. The next be 80% dominance, 20% immersion.

Do multiple types at the same time. Grab her neck while telling her how much you love her and would never let anything bad happen to her.

With all of these things, you are giving her different types of psychological stimulation. That is where the power is at.

Of course, give her different types of physical stimulation to. Switch up positons, alter the amount of foreplay, etc.

Remember though, the focus should be on the psychological stimulation you are giving her. Make the primary focus of your variety on that.

Some other things to change up…
1. Location
2. Time
3. Context
4. Duration
5. Number of orgasms
6. Role plays and fantasies (Look some up)

Immersion

This is the area where I am currently just digging into the deepest levels.

On the surface level, immersion is letting go of thoughts, fully stripping away any social conditioning and just being in the present moment.

Sex becomes the best kind of meditative experience for both you and your partner.

On a deeper level, immersion leads to out of body experiences and multiple male orgasms.

I will be writing about those deeper levels as I master them myself. For now, we will stick with the surface levels, which will be more than adequate to give your woman multiple orgasms, and sometimes even a continuous one.

Ultimately, sex does not require any planning, forethought or direction. When you enter the bedroom, your mindset should be “let’s see where this goes.”

“But Caligula, haven’t you been talking about all these techniques and what not throughout the article?”

Indeed, there is a lot of content here. However, none of it requires thought to implement. They are simply ways of being.

The reason why the Sex God Method is so powerful is that you don’t have to break off from the experience at hand to use it. In other stuff on sex I have read, you would have to be thinking things like “alright, time to rub the clit at the 1:00 position with a 30 degree angle.”

With the Sex God Method, all you need to think is “more dominance.” Pow, suddenly, you’re manhandling her or talking dirty into her ear.

When I was first implementing this, the only 3 thoughts that would ever come into my head during sex was “dominance,” “emotion,” or “variety.” Whatever I instinctively did after the thought is what I went with. And guess what, it worked amazingly well AND I was fully immersed.

You lose if you are thinking “ok, time for dominance. OK, let’s talk dirty. Gee, what should I say?”

The words dominance, emotion and variety are simply signposts that point towards a raw, non-socially conditioned part of you. That raw, non-socially conditioned part of you is what you should be relying on. That is far and away the best “how-to guide” available to you.

So be in the present moment, fully. Most performance problems that arise stems from not being present during sex.

- Premature ejaculation

This happens when you are inside your head. If you are fully in the present moment and fully in tune with your body, you will instinctively know when to slow down. Thinking about calculus will not help you all that much because it keeps you in your head.

- Not getting it up

This comes from putting pressure on yourself, which can only happen if you are inside your head. If you can get hard for porn, you can get hard when a naked girl is in front of you. Fully take in her beauty and allow your biology to do its thing.

- Performance anxiety

Again, being inside of your head. Ultimately, this also reflects a lack of dominance. You should be leading the girl in whatever type of sex you want, not trying to please her. Ironically, by pleasing yourself you by extension please her. My girl usually cums 6-8 times a session, and the entire time I am focusing on me and the experience I am having.

- Anxiety over size of penis

My penis is a whopping 6 inches. Seriously, it doesn’t make a bit of difference guys, and the only thing that could cause you to think that it does is watching too much porn or some other type of social conditioning. Recognize it for what it is, and it will gradually lose power over you.


Getting Her To Take It Up The Ass

Golden Rule of Anal Sex: Never, EVER, talk about anal sex with a woman except when she is highly aroused.

BAD/HORRIBLE/FAGGOTRY: “Honey, how do you like your chicken? Great. Hey, can we do anal tonight?”

You are engaging her social conditioning here. It is the equivalent of driving home with a girl you just met and saying “so should we go to the drugstore and pick up some condoms?”

Here is the field-tested formula for getting her to take it up the ass regardless of how sexually closed she is.

STEP 1: Introduce anal play when she is highly aroused. This means ribbing her ass cheeks with your hands while fucking her doggy style, and slowly working your way inward.

STEP 2: When she has been exposed to anal play a few times, and is highly aroused, tell her to imagine what it would be like to feel your long, hard cock fill her in a way that she has never experienced. Imagine your ass being fucked. But we can’t do that, it would be bad.

STEP 3: When she is about to cum, stick your finger into her ass. Mentally, she will associate anal penetration with orgasm.

STEP4: Next session, when she is on the bring, take out your cock and put it up against her ass. Say “baby, this is bad, but I am going to fuck you up the ass.” Wait for her to say yes, then lube your cock and the inside of her ass GENEROUSLY (I like astroglide).

STEP 5: You need to be ridiculously slow if this is her first time. Tell her to finger herself while you slowly push your cock in and out. Again, this needs to be very, VERY slow. It usually takes me about 5-10 just to get the head of my cock into her ass. The pain she feels will be overrided by her fingering and you whispering dirty things into her ear (example: “God, it feels amazing to me in your ass.”)

STEP 6: After a very long time, you should be in her ass. Let her get used to it, then pound away. When you cum in her ass, it will be a unique feeling for her. She will feel very dirty. The cum that drips out of her ass might be dirty to, lol.

And so there you go, how to fuck your girl up the ass in 6 easy steps.

Remember, lube is essential.

Final Notes

These are what I consider the essentials that every man should know about how to please a woman. What kind of results can you expect by applying this material?

- Before, I could give a woman an orgasm per session, and usually get myself off as well. Now 6-8 orgasms from her is an average session.

- Before, I had never even heard of the continuous orgasm. Today, I can get my girl into one of those on average 1-2 times a month

- Before, I had never had anal sex. Now I have, and my girl wants it more than me.

- Before, my relationships were pretty balanced solely because I had options and game. Now women are sexually addicted to me, to the point where they go out of their way to please me.

Again, mastering sex is one of the most worthwhile things you can do.



Quick thought on "reading about sex."

Initially, I was reluctant to do any kind of research into sex.  I figured that it was "natural" and that any kind of research into it would make it unnatural.

This is true in some respects.  If you pick up a book that focuses on physical technique, you will probably get worse in bed because you will be more inside of your head.

As a result, you really should stick to books that focus on the psychological parts of sex.  David Deida's work is great, some evolutionary psychology books I've read have been helpful, as have a lot of the tantra stuff that I have read.


The reason why these resources are great is because they point you to a place within yourself that already exists as opposed to telling you what to do.

As an extension of this, you can actually improve your bedroom skills by studying natural game resources, including the ones put out by RSD (The Blueprint actually was useful in improving my sex life... 9 months after I first watched it, lol)."

Great stuff.  Thanks again Caligula!  Dude's the man

To Your Success,

B. Benz